Today I called Mad Dog on my way home from work to find that all hell broke loose at home. Since I have started working in Eastern, MA Little Man has been put in daycare for 2 days a week and since Miss G is here until the last week in August we had to ask Mad Dog's parents to help us out with watching Miss G.
This is not usually an issue. However having said that I will say it doesn't have to be an issue. Mad Dog's Mother has never had issue with Miss G and the same can be said of my Family. Mad Dog's Father on the other hand - well Miss G and him are like oil and water. They don't mix. Both are strong headed (yes, Miss G is only 6 and you would think someone of Curt's age would know better or at least act his age) and feel they are in the right regarding everything. Mad Dog's Dad doesn't know when to leave well enough alone.
I should explain that Mad Dog has made it clear to me that his Father's memory of their childhood (Mad Dog's & his brother/sister's) is completely wrong. Mad Dog doesn't hold his childhood against his Father, like the other two do (who don't talk to him- Mad Dog's Father), but he doesn't claim his Father won Father of the year by any means. He has also gone on to say his Mother can't claim much better. His Father has very clear ideas on how children should behave and what rules they should follow (the saying 'Seen and not heard' comes to mind).
I believe that there should be a respect for your elders (and I plan on teaching this to Little Man), but I believe the respect should go both ways. Miss G could use a strong lesson in respect of her elders and Curt could used a strong lesson in a mutual respect of children. On top of the respect thing - there were issues with eating in her bedroom, something Mad Dog & I allow; closing her bedroom door, something that we don't see a problem and I'm sure a merry of other issues. The day ended with Curt mad as hell - claiming they were not attending Miss G's birthday party (held the day before she left) and Miss G crying uncontrollably until Mad Dog could get her to calm down (since she is over dramatic).
I feel that this was simply resolved - at least the eating in the room & door closed parts by Curt asking Miss G if we allowed it or calling Mad Dog & asking. I was happy that Mad Dog was the one to come home first. I do believe Miss G needs to learn manners and respect of her Grandfather, but I do believe Curt should respect the rules of our house. You would think that he would see that his parenting or child raising skills or whatever you want to call them are in question- since 2 of this 3 children don't talk to him. (I guess it would possibly take 3 of 3 to maybe sink in). This has been a point of recent conversation since at our wedding, Mad Dog's brother, Jeff, stated to his their Step-sister, Jenn, that Curt was only Jeff's biological Father and nothing more and went on to explain some of the issues Jeff had with his Father and his childhood. All of which have been verified for me by Mad Dog and yet Curt doesn't seem to remember - to the point that Curt told Mad Dog they didn't remember it right. (Can you say "ISSUE"!) Would you really want one of your only Biological Grandchildren (he has 3 biological /2 not) not to speak to you the way your children don't?
I have made it clear to Mad Dog that when it comes to Little Man - I won't stand of it. I would not sit quiet if this were to happen to him. I won't have someone contradict my rules and what I have taught him or force their beliefs on him (one of the reasons I instisted on having a balance of my two brother as Godfathers for his baptism- they both have very different beliefs and ideas about life) . I will never allow anyone to disrespect who he will become and how he will get there. Mad Dog knows this - and knows that if and when there is an issue, there will be nothing he can do about me speaking my mind.
I don't understand a lot of things about Mad Dog's family, then again I don't understand a ton of things about my family (immediate or extended), but I do understand what is important to Mad Dog and I regarding our children (since Miss G has other influences, her family in WI, that we can't control) and how they are raised. That is what matter. Not some stone-age parenting techniques that didn't work then and don't work now.
(Great book for teaching Children to let their voice be heard - Nonsense by Sally Kahler Phillips)
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