Office Gift Contribution Reform Bill

Like so many things in life, work and where you work can be a political mine field of personalities, office politics and just plain stupidity. Anyone who has ever worked any where and has been approached for a "sunshine fund" or asked to buy wrapping paper from their co-workers kid knows that saying no and can be almost as painful as saying yes is to your wallet.

Things that were once nice gestures are now demanded by co-workers. Yes, I have been at both the receiving end and giving end of these types of gestures, but I never would expect it. Even DEMAND it. Where I work now we do a "cake" fund. where we put in $10 dollars and for each persons birthday we get a cake for that month. So, in March (I think am remembering this correctly) I will share my Birthday cake with another person. In January, 3 people shared a cake. I don't have a problem with this. I could have opted out.. I didn't. But then there are the million other things we do collections for from time to time. At Christmas when people have the most hardships, we do Secret Santa, we do a collection for our 3 bosses, and I honestly believe we are expected to give cards/gifts to everyone in some way, shape or form. Again I am apart of these actions. I think that putting in for my bosses, who I like working for and make my life a little easier from time to time is a nice way to say thank you. But I'm sorry I don't expect people to give me a photo card of their kids, when they might have to purchase a completely extra set to do it for the whole team. People don't have the money. I don't expect people to purchase a vase and fill it with greens and holly and bows and put it on my desk. It's nice, but I don't need it to happen.

Back in May when I went out because of my appendicitis two of my co-works sent me flowers in the hospital. This gesture was made by two close friends at work, who knew because of Mad Dog's schedule and how far our family are from us, I would be sitting in the hospital alone and might need some cheering up. They were right, and their gesture had the right sentiment. On arriving home, a box of wonderful cookie (AMAZING COOKIES) was waiting for me and the family to enjoy. This thoughtful gift was sent from the rest of my department team and selected by my supervisor. It was the perfect token, to tell me I was missed and to get well (and back!) soon. I did not expect this. I wouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Even with my ailment being a complete "act of God", which I had not honestly per-knowledge of I didn't expect this!

When collections are take in our department for things like this, it is always stated that you give "what you can". There is no set amount in these cases, they don't figure out what they're going to spend and say "Hey, everyone owes me $15.00." No it is what you can give. And people do give generously, and people give what they can and then there are those people who don't give and yes they are still allowed to sign the card. I've been on the collecting side of a few of these and I know that sometimes the balance is completely out of wack. But if people are giving what they can, who is making up the slack if the money isn't enough?

Recently a co-worker went out for elective surgery. A gift was sent. I will tell you, no collection was taken and this gift was sent out of someones pocket. After the gift was received, this person received an email from our ailing co-worker that the gift was being returned. She questioned the monetary value of the gift and was insulted by it. A better gift was expected? EXPECTED?

These are things that make me want to just go to work, and not socialize outside my cube. It's completely understandable. If the person in the cube next to you feels the need to put a little something on your desk for your birthday, should you be expected to do it in return? Should you have to buy a gift for someone who is rude to you, doesn't talk to you for weeks on end because they had one glimmer of kindness towards you?  I don't think so. I don't think it should be expected. If it is the company should dock your pay and that money would be like a contribution to office politics (like contributions of your tax refund to Massachusetts Aids Fund, or Military Family Relief Fund). I don't think so. I don't think anything should be expected. You don't know what anyone else is going through, what their hardships are and what their life demands of them. The only think you should expect is a paycheck and even in these times thats a privilege too.

The Excuse Factory is Out of Answers and Out of Time

I'm not in the best mood right now, which sucks since I had a good day and had plans to enjoy Lost this evening. This evening while cooking dinner, Mad Dog told me he talked with his Father. I should have know from this point on I was going to be annoyed. He mentioned that Curt started his "Oh - we're going to come for a visit in the next few Tuesdays" act. There was mention of them having a Birthday gift for Lex. Mad Dog at this point mentioned nicely that we were having a birthday party for Lex and that the invite would be received in the next day or so. This of course sent the "Excuse Factory" into overdrive. Sadly the factory has no good copy writers on hand, because the first think out of Curt's mouth is that Louis is on a wait list for a Federal Grand Jury. This means that she has to call in every Friday to see if she has to appear Monday for the Federal Grand Jury. Mad Dog quickly says, "Well, the party is on a Sunday afternoon."  This send the "Excuse Factory" into a red alert, def-con 5. Curt comes back with, we'll you know Louis has been helping Jenn with the new baby - you know she had that "surgery". That "surgery" is called a C-section. Mad Dog say, "Yeah, the same one Kim had!" 

At this point in the story I almost put my hand fist first through the metal casing of our gas stove. Yes, something out of the Terminator or something, because my blood is BOILING. This ignorant man has just tried to use a c-section again us. Us, or I should say ME, who had a c-section, came home to take care of NOT 1 child, but 2 - ALONE, for several days before my body decided to HEMORRHAGE. I bled out. I managed to call an ambulance, talk Michael, my Mother and Brother, Kevin through me being okay and getting them all to Worcester while still keeping myself alive, taking care of and calming Lex and preparing to go the hospital (getting Lex's Monkey friends so he wasn't scared on the ambulance ride) and coordinating the EMTs and Paramedics to take the kids with us while almost passing out from the loss of blood, which I had to have a blood transfusion for, while I should have been home nursing my new baby girl. So you're telling me your Step Daughter can't take care of her own daughter on a Sunday afternoon without her Mother for a few hours while you celebrate your Grandson's 3rd Birthday (and only birthday you would have attended) because she had a surgery and a new born. 

Okay, okay...I know I'm being irrational. I know I'm not human. I've been called a Cyborg. I have USB ports surgically implanted in my skin, and some people have said my Mother formed me from a lump of magic clay, but give me a bloody break (no pun intended)! It's not that hard - people raise kids without help all the time. In fact unless you're the F-ing Duggers don't go looking for sympathy here. There are woman who have children all over the world and then go back to work within moments or days of doing so. Get a back bone and suck it up! If you can't don't bother reproducing! (Yes, it's that simple!)

As I have previously stated when it comes to this subject, that this is the last invite we are extending to this side of Mad Dog's family. If they do not attend Lex's party, they will not be invited to any other functions relating to our family. We are not telling them this, which some people might find unfair. If we tell them it will only be out of guilty or fear that they come, not for Lex. Mad Dog has said if they don't he will explain to Curt that, that was their last invite. We are done with courtesy. 

I am angry, that Lex and Loki don't have my Father here to here, but have this Man who could careless about anyone but himself. A man who claims to be SO hurt by his own children (Mad Dog's Brother and Sister) not wanting him in his life, is so self-centered that he doesn't see the hurt he causes Mad Dog or our kids. I am very grateful for my Mother's Husband Stuart. He is Lex's Papa Stuart. He makes Loki smile and takes them for walks. He loves them and they love him. I am also grateful that my Father is out there, watching over Lex and Loki. Their Papa John protects them and loves them from afar. 

I don't think science should be working on how to pick the sex of your child or the genetic traits our children should have. What it should be doing is working on a way to get ride of the bad traits of the adults in those children's lives. Smoking, drugs and drinking would be a start, but the more important issues are selfishness, coldness, and crudity.  If there is indeed a call for test subjects, I have a few candidates for it. 

First Ones Free!

After my last few posts I feel like one of those "Walmart Blogger Moms" that were paid to push products. Trust me that is not the case, none of the organization/businesses have paid me anything to run my mouth off about stuff. Plus to get paid I would have to have a following and I don't have a big one as far as I know.

Having said all that, the main reason I've been talking about the local businesses I have been plugging is because I'm excited about them and I believe in them. Last seasons CSA with Nourse Farm was amazing. The whole experience was wonderful and we enjoyed not only the bounty we received each week, but the feeling that we were working with a local Farm. I recommend finding an CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) through Local Harvest. I understand that for a lot of people the initial kick out of cash is hard, but for us there were several ways we benefited from doing it this way. The first way was that I found I was far less likely to let stuff go to waste if it came from Nourse than veggies or fruits I purchased from the grocery store. I don't know what it was, maybe the personal connection we made with Jon Nourse, the owner/operator of the business, who we saw almost every weekly visit or the fact that we had shelled out that lump sum of money to join. Needless to say we wasted very little. Secondly  the program focused us to try new things. Since you never know what will be offered from week to week based off the harvest you are forced to try new things or else you're technically losing your money. Lastly it gave us family time. With the exception of one or two times when Mad Dog went on his way home from work, we made a point to go as a family. This allowed the kids to see the farm and in Lex's case, he selected some of weekly bounty (and got to see the Horsey grazing in the field).

This week we ventured up to Athol, MA to Adams Farm for local meat. Yes, they are slightly out of the way for us, but our trip found us a host of new businesses to check out on future trips. We purchased a "Build Your Own Package", selecting 4 items form their list of 17 options. Our selection cost us $55.00 and was made up of: 5 lbs of Ground Beef, 5 lbs Sweet Italian Sausage, 5 lbs Center Cut Pork Chops and 4 lbs Boneless Chicken Breast. Now I can't tell you if the Beef is 85% or 95% lean meat (that would a question of the Farm), but I promise to let you know how it tastes once we cook it. We also picked up 2 dozen local eggs, cheese from Smith's Country Cheese and a pound of lamb stew meat for $4.50.  The stew meat was amazing! Unbelievable! We figure that if we do a run once a month or if we have the money purchase for 2 months we'll be good. The meat is all frozen and for the most part is broken down into what I would say is a meal (at least for our family). If you pick your package or select one of their per selected package deals you can email or fax your order in and it'll be ready to go for pick-up. Also off the same exit is Big Apple Farm and a few exits before it is Lanni Orchard.

I will lastly place one last plug! This is for our good friend Patrick, who owns Occasional Creek Maple which I mentioned in my previous post. Patrick is amazing and his wife Sara (who is also amazing) will kill me for writing that, she think we'll give him a big head. But in all honesty he is. Anyhow I would like to extend an offer to any of my friends that if they would like to pre-order syrup from Occasional Creek we would be happy to pick it up for them when we pick up ours. You can let him know that his "pushers" (Kim and Mad Dog) will pick it up for you.

Look around and see what is in your own backyard! Find a local farmers market this spring or pick apples this coming fall. Get out and explore what New England has to offer and bring the little ones along for the ride! (Did I just type that? Someone please shoot me!)

100 Miles to Find Healthy Options

A while back I had mentioned the 100 Mile Diet which Mad Dog and I had learned about thanks to Planet Green. Mad Dog and I are planning on making a serious attempt at incorporating this into our life style in the next coming months. I will be honest I don't think we can completely go 100 mile, but we hope go as far as we can with the resources around us. 

Last summer we started with joining an CSA through Nourse Farm. We purchased a 1/2 of share and loved it. We tried new things and started eating healthier. This year we are talking about purchasing a whole share, but that will involve us being better about our selections and storage of the food. If we do purchase a whole share I'm going to look a more canning options this year.We also had planned on joining a CSF (Community Supported Fishery), but didn't in the end due to lack of communication form the organization. We are going to research this more and make another attempt this year. 

Another local options we have been enjoying for several years now, is Maple Syrup. Yes, we live in New England and this shouldn't be an issue when it comes the 100 Mile Diet, but more importantly we are helping a local business and a great friend. Our friend Patrick owns Occasional Creek Maple. We have watched his operation grow and have enjoyed our weekend pancakes with something special thanks to him and his family. Mad Dog is setting to pre-order our syrup for the year and we recommend you join us! 

Tomorrow we will take our next step in navigating local options, when we travel to Adams Farm in Athol, MA. We will be purchasing our first selection of meats from them. We'll be purchasing fresh, pasture raised, meat products with no added hormones or antibiotics.  The last part of the statement has never been a big concern to me, but if given the option at an affordable price I will take it anytime. We'll let you know how it is. 

This coming summer, I'm planning on taking full advantage of our local options and visits to meet the people who make those options possible. I also, want the kids to learn more about this as we go. I want them to try new things and learn about where the food we eat comes from. 

Did You Just Ask That?

I know I've spoken about self-censorship before in my blog. This is something I'm never really happy about, but I do it to protect the feelings of others. I've been thinking about something very similar, but this is more like a set of rules I have for myself. I have a list of thing I just don't do or ask. Like everyone knows their Miss Manners - you don't ask a woman her age over the age of like 21; you don't ask if that is a woman's real hair color; or if that younger woman is a guys daughter or something. 

There are things you just don't ask! Why? Because you don't know that might be on the other end of the answer.   Their could be embarrassment, hurt, or controversy. You don't know and therefore you need to think before you put that question out there for someone answer. I don't care how good your intention are, or WHO you are, there are things that are none of your business. 

A big example of this in when it comes to children or fertility. Couples or non-couples don't need to asked "So, when are you going to have kids?" or "When are you going to make me a Grandparent?" Think about this question for a moment. First of all it is a private personal thing between two people and it has nothing to do with anyone else but them. Unless you are one of those two people you have no idea what is going on in their lives. From possible fertility issues, to financial issues or just plan want or readiness.

I've have several friends in my life who are or have gone through fertility issues. This topic is something very difficult for people to deal with and everyone has their opinions - it's just that not all of them need to be expressed to the couples involved. I know when I found out I was pregnant with Loki, I felt it was going to be very hard to tell some of my friends. I knew couples in my life were trying and there had been heartache and stress involved in their attempts to get pregnant. I didn't want to be the person yelling from the roof tops that I had pulled off this miracle of life and they hadn't. I know I had every right to be excited and happy, but at what cost to my friends. Some of those couples have since had their own miracles and others have not. I make it a rule not to ask those friends how its going, are they still trying or what are their options. I only do so when I'm giving the nod from them. 

I wasn't going to directly comment on the following, but I have changed my mind. Recently my Brother and Sister-in-Law, Sean and Tiffany, have been at the receiving end of an interrogation of sorts regarding their plans for children. This line of questioning was invasive and in their eyes crossed a line that made them both uncomfortable. I think this is wrong. You can put whatever spin on the intentions behind this, how much you love someone and you're concerned, but honestly its no ones business but theirs. Also, what benefit comes out of this? Nothing. It causes greater stress on the situation. If the couple is trying you have now placed the one thing any OB/GYN would tell you doesn't help fertility STRESS. 

People need to think. Take a moment and THINK. 

75% Past the First Week

I've been think about resolutions this week. Who hasn't, huh? Mad Dog has made his known and even set up a blog for them at WhoKnowsWhyNot. I'm very impressed. I have my doubts about casting resolutions, finding the general announcement of the New Year Resolution usually means by March (I'm being optimistic here) the resolution has been forgotten. For those people who hold true to their Resolutions throughout the year I give them special credit. I mean most of the gyms in the United States would be out of business if it weren't for the New Years Resolution. Weigh Watchers wouldn't have a MASS sign-up in January if it weren't for them and you can throw organizational (businesses), health food shops and dating services on the pile as well.

I think this is why I started my weight loss before the new year, even in the midst of travel and the holidays. I think the commitment held true for me. I'm not saying that it can't be done, I'm just saying I CAN'T DO IT. Loki is even jumping on the resolution band wagon. She said she is going to make the following resolutions: 1) To Walk 2) To Give up "the bottle" and 3) To torture Lex just a little bit more this coming year. Personally I think they are all very easy resolutions, but she feels she must make them. Lex said he would like: 1) To Potty Train 2) To get better at his Numbers and Letters and 3) to get back to Disney before I go nuts from telling him "NOT NOW".

Did I make any resolutions for the New Year? No, I didn't. I do however to do a few thing this year, but wouldn't call them resolutions (I said I wouldn't call them - this doesn't mean you can't):

1.) Continue my search for my "Cute Fan Girl Body". This of course means to exercise more, which is something I've been trying to do since like October.

2) To take more photos and hone my shooting eye. Again I've been working on this more and more. I honestly feel I'm getting better, but I could still learn a thing or two.

3) To reconnect with my Friends more. This has been an on going struggle with where we live and our schedules, but I plan on making more of an effort this year.

4) I was going to type that I wanted to document more of the kids with their grandparents for this one. I know that I am always shooting Lex and Loki with Nonna and my Mom, but since I'm not usually around when Mad Dog's parents are here I don't have a lot of good photos of them with the kids. This of course will be far more difficult now that Mad Dog's Father and Step-Mother are not talking with us, but I will make a effort to capture more of Mad Dog's Mom with the kids.

5) Make time for Mad Dog. We had tried the whole date-night things when were first had Lex, and it was difficult because we didn't have anyone to watch him, so this reduced date-night to quiet time with movie after he went to bed. I would like to try to make an effort for us to go out together, or visit with friends without the Monkeys. Some time for us to be adults. 

It's something to put on To Do List for the year.

Enjoy the Silence

Today our lives go back to normal, we'll at least mine did at 8:30 this morning. Today Gabrielle goes home to Wisconsin. I think I've explained it before we do love having her here, but it does throw our lives in complete chaos. From our living room being taken over by the Jonas Brothers, Teen Beat, Twilight, and JFK. The last 3 weeks have had their ups and downs. We have seen her grow from trying new food (veggie sushi and raviolis) on Christmas Day (Thank you, Uncle Brent!)  and yet still turning to her helpless side, when she is unable to open the pantry (which Lex can unlock and get into though we try to keep him out) and having to check on her every 15 minutes at bedtime (when Lex and Loki go down with no checking). I think the biggest thing I'm happy I won't have to hear anymore is, Lex getting upset because Gigi has locked him out of something or told him to "go away".

We are now just left with the ghost of her visit. A random glove left behind, a book (or many books) not put away, a Barbie doll left out and cough drop/candy wrappers left EVERYWHERE! I have started going through and organizing toys, books and general stuff to make some sense of it all. Come the summer we'll have new rules, new tools, and a new focus for the summer. For now, I'm grateful for "quiet" time with Lex and Loki before nap time for us all.