Friends - It's Not Just in Syndication

There are things I just love about the summer, though at this moment I'm all set and ready for it to just be over. What I love the most about it is seeing friends. We don't get to see people enough in the winter months, since living in New England we get that thing called weather, but the summer months seem to offer us more opportunities to see those we love and care about.

This summer we have been very busy in regards to seeing friends, which is a good thing. We started out August with a visit to our friends the Delaney's for a birthday party for their youngest daughter. Patrick and Sara are from our Barnes & Noble time, and they are also among our Western Mass friends.  I love going the Patrick and Sara's for anything. It's always a good time full of great conversation, amazing food and a lot of fun. This birthday Sara presented us with homemade rainbow ice cream cake (and rainbow cupcakes). Where else are you going to get that? Another reason I love going is I think Lex (Sara's Chicken Whisperer) has a crush on Sara and Loki on Patrick (she just stares at him in awe). Along with seeing the Delaney's, the kids love to see the Dave's (the Delaney chickens). 

After visiting with our Belchertown friends we moved on to a cookout with some more of our Western Mass friends. I would usually say they are Mad Dog's friends, but that is just to state who they started out with because they are our friends now. We had the pleasure of being invited to Dave & Melissa's new place (with the help of Lori poking Dave about it - thank you Lori!), where Mad Dog got his geek speak on with some old friends. I think Mad Dog figured out he has known this group of friends for about 14 to 15 years now. Our time with them offered Lex and Loki a little kid play and gave Gabrielle the time to mope about not having anything to do (big surprise there). Lori, who recently became a mother, was their with Harper her sweet little girl, which Lex and Loki were both fascinated with and in between checking on her they played with Maeve (Dave and Melissa's Daughter) and Tristan (Bill and Heather's Son). It was a wonderful time and we managed to catch up with one another between checking to see what trouble the kids were into.  

This weekend we had a full plate. Starting with Build & Grow on Saturday morning before heading out to our friend Michael's 40th birthday party at Colt State Park in Rhode Island. This party gave us the opportunity to catch up with our Eastern Mass friends, some of which I've known 15-16 years. I hate the fact that we don't get to see each other more often, but with work, schedules and now in some cases kids it does get difficult to find the time. We do our best, picking up where we left off and finding a way to catch up in the few moments we have together. These people have been a huge part of my life for so long I can't imagine them not being there forever. 

In the case of this party, I even managed to get to catch up with my brother Kevin, since he has adopted into my college group of friends years ago. The kids had a great time, though with no nap we were a bit cranky. Loki managed to find a following of kids who kept wanting to pick her up and play with her, while Lex tried to play with everyone but we think he was a bit to sensitive to get it right at that point. Gabrielle was bored, but we knew that was going to happen - we tried to explain to her what the day would be like. She didn't really chit chat with people, thought several tried to talk to her about school, books and other things. In the end she sat and read for most of the time, but stuck close to Mad Dog most of the time. 

After getting a little sunburn we headed out to my Mom's. Where we met up with Kevin, Brent and our friend Blue. My Mom had offered to watch the kids so that Mad Dog and I could go out for a late anniversary dinner that evening. We took her up on it. Our plans were to take us into Somerville for dinner which allowed us to extend our time with Blue, while we gave her a lift back to the city. 

I'm going to make some kind of resolution, to make an extra effort to get in touch with people, make plans and find the time for our friends a lot more. This won't be a new years kind of a thing, but a now kind of a thing. Making sure that the fall and winter months are not the reason for those the large gaps between visits. These people are our families as much (and in some cases even more so) that our actual families. Here is to more friends, more time and more memories. 

Family Dynamic

The summer is in full swing now, we are 3 weeks into Gabrielle's summer with us and the kids have all settled in. What does this mean? This means NO ON IS LISTENING!

We talk and worry about Lex and Loki's behavior changes when Gabrielle is around, but right now we are experiencing it. Lex is acting out for attention and Loki, well Loki doesn't get left alone. Observing things I find that Gabrielle is either asking Lex to come play, or is telling him to go away. With Loki she likes teaching her things, that she thinks are cute. This is getting old very fast, since we we say enough is enough Gabrielle thinks we are only talking to Lex and Loki.

It is very frustrating. Today we went to breakfast with Mad Dog's Mom. She came out from Western Massachusetts to take us for breakfast. Lex was very excited to see Grandma Mary Ann, and to add to the excitement we were going for breakfast. He didn't misbehave, but I can't say that he was an angel. He was looking for attention. Gabrielle moved close to Loki at the end of breakfast and started to get her worked up, but when Lex wanted to play too there was drama. Mad Dog explained to the three of them to stop, but Gabrielle went on and on with Loki.
The morning was long, and to be honest - Lex too most of the dirt looks for it all. Since he was the one at the forefront. Since he was the one spoken to the most it made it seem as if he was the only one at fault. Mary Ann asked about his behavior at Daycare. We said he gets good reports, nothing unusual for a kid of 3. We see that he is acting out for attention, since Gabrielle is now at the forefront of things.

Mad Dog and I have to talk and figure out how to handle this upheaval and disruption. In someways we have to just get to the end of August, but that isn't fixing things. Updates to come. 

Video Games Killed Saturday Morning Cartoon Star

Boy in the Bubble

Summer has officially started for us. Gabrielle joined our family this past Tuesday. With her arrival things have changed (as we expected). Lex was very excite to see her, he has been looking forward to her arrival for sometime. We think partly because I associates her with Christmas, because of this we have had to explain to him several times that it is not Christmas time yet. We think he understands now, but you never can tell when he'll start asking for his footy-pajamas again. Loki is of course cautious about Gabrielle. She has warmed up to her in the last few days, giving her kisses before bed and hugs. Loki still keeps to herself most of the time, but does join in with the others from time to time.

The summer has already been jam-packed. Mad Dog spent Wednesday stealing Gabrielle, taking to the library, Target and Borders for books. Friday Morning he took them to the Eco-Tarium, Target again (don't think a day is complete without a trip to Target) and waited for me to get home. We went to Nourse Farm for our CSA and then had pizza night. This morning was Coopers Hilltop Dairy Farm, Dunkin Donuts, Target (did you guess this time) and Lowe's  for Build and Grow.

Saturday Morning Video Games

Lex of course wants to be like his big sister, when asked what he wanted for a donut this morning we started with a Sprinkle Donut, but after hearing Gabrielle's order of a Chocolate Glazed Donut he changed his mind. We're hoping this works to our advantage in the potty training department. We have been playing it up that Gigi needs privacy and that she is a Big-Girl using the potty. I don't know if it going to do it, but we're hoping. Their big bonding experience has been video games. From my understanding Loki is getting pretty good (I guess they take after me). Tomorrow morning we're looking at the park if the weather is good and Tuesday we have family day complete with a trip the the Doctors for Loki's 18 month check up. Maine is in our future as well, for sometime with my family. Loki got her first sleeping bag this weekend.

One of my goals this summer is take a lot of photographs which include Gabrielle. I tend to take pictures all the time with Lex and Loki, but when Gabrielle is here I find I don't as much. I don't know if it more chaotic with 3 or if its that we usually have a lot more going on (Christmas, etc) when she is visiting. I haven't been off to a good start, I have taken my camera with me three different places and not a shot. I have 9 more weeks to get on the ball.

Summertime Planning

The summer is almost here and what do you think about when you think about the summer? The OUTDOORS! Living in New England means we spend a good amount of our year dealing with winter and the fact that it's just not nice enough to be outside. This of course gets old very fast when you have little ones that have a lot of balled up energy inside them.

Since summer is coming and it brings Gabrielle, taking our family of 4 to 5 for just about three months we start planning our weeks out a little more. Between camp, daycare and vacations we fill our weeks up one by one being careful not to over book and still leave time for the library, cook-outs and friends.

One of the things we plan each year is our trip to Alfred, Maine. My Mom's Husband, Stuart, has a cute little cabin on the banks of Shaker Pond in Alfred. We usually take the kids up for a few day, not always the whole week because of the weather. When we do go up, we don't sleep in the cabin - we pitch a tent! Yup, we "camp". I call it "camping" since I know some die-hards wouldn't call it that at all. We've been doing this since before the kids were born, in fact the weekend we found out I was pregnant with Lex we camped on the yard up there.

Each of the kids (with the exception of Loki, which will get one for Christmas this coming year) has a sleeping bag and an air mats (not full blown air mattresses). Everyone packs up books (wishful thinking on the part of Mad Dog and I), toys, swimming gear and sunscreen and we head up. Most of the day (even the ones where it rains slightly) are spent in the lake swimming, occasionally we take in a local baseball game, and visit the junk store (a general - has everything type place from tools, toys to kitchen and fishing equipment) and the antique consignment shop that usually ends in someone crying about wanting something or begging for their allowance in advance. Then there is the trip for ice cream at Shaw's Ridge Farm.

We cook on the grill or smoker and have a fire in the chiminea to toast marshmallows. I'm looking forward to this year, where we will explore more of the area around Alfred. I would like to go berry or apple picking while were up there. I believe Mad Dog also wants to hit the beach with the kids, since they are always begging to go. Either way it will be an adventure (one that has no hospital trips this year). We will be designing our family t-shirt for 2010. I made one last year for the kids, using fabric markers and t-shirts I picked up at Michael's. I'm would like to go for bigger and badder this year.

If you have the opportunity to camp with your kids (or "camp") I completely recommend it. It's fun. Of course they will bring their Nintendo DS's and Ipods, but there will be times when you will all hung out together enjoying the day and nature. It's those moments that are the fun part. Also, there is an excitement that happens when you sleep in a tent with little ones. It's all new to them (maybe a little frightening) and you get to see the excitement through their eyes. Mad Dog and I are looking at going real camping with Lex and Loki in the fall. Gabrielle has asked that she be allowed to skip that plan, though she is presently on a two night camping in a tent trip with her Girl Scouts as I type this. I'm okay with having one less on that expedition, since part of the anxiety that pops up on these trips is in part due to Gigi (she gets freaked out at time about everything, thought it has been better recently).

Well, here is to morning cups of coffee on the dock, taking the boat out, fishing without hooking someone next to you, ice cream sandwiches, smoked chicken, sparklers and mosquitoes. (pictures from last our 2009 summer vacation).

Cake of Death: Parenting 101

Each year before the start of the summer Mad Dog and I sit down and strategize how to approach this summer visit. The sad part about this is we're not this way we parent with Lex. Lex is 2 1/2 years old and he knows that: we have one meal a night, you don't eat - you don't eat; you take something out - you put it away before something else comes out or it's gone; you take off clothing - you put it in the hamper; your room is clean before you go to bed. This is a 2 year old. We have drilled this into him and he has taken to it. We expect and hope Loki will be the same way. Those who know us, know that we are laid back parents. You spill milk, we don't yell - it's happens. You ruin your shirt with a stain, we don't yell - it's happens. We do however expect you listen, and learn from what we tell you, even if you take the hard way to get there.

Each summer, by the end I feel (I think Mad Dog does too) that we have been walked on. The hard part for me is that I'm a "step-mom" and because of this, I feel I walk a line. A line where I let Mad Dog handle things, and try to stay out of it the best I can. Needless to say, I have a hard time doing this - I mean it is my house, my life and oddly my family it is effecting. Mad Dog knows I'm frustrated and he tries to help me with it, but what it comes down to is that I'm frustrated with her behavior, her attitude and how it effects him, and the kids. Please don't think, I am saying she is completely without her good points. I love her a great deal. What I don't love is what she will grow up to become. We can see it and in a lot of ways we can't stop it no matter how much we attempt to help her down another path.

My last two posts have brought a lot of great comments, ideas and parenting knowledge. I agree with a great deal that has been said.

I know that a lot of this is out of our hands and is due to the other 9 months of the year that she is not with us. I think I'm of the belief that the "Shock and Awe" parenting method seems to work best.The harder, swifter and more shocking the action, the memorable and lasting reaction. I know that those punishments and reactions to my behavior from my childhood were the ones that still stick in my memory even today. Like every child I thought they were unfair, but now I see the justification as a parent. I honestly also think, that

we are the parents, as it has been stated it is not a democracy. My kids start writing "We the People of this Family" and I'll give them credit for trying, but there will be no "Cake" in my "Cake or Death"; no toy soldier last stand; no "Give me Fruit Treats or give me death".

We'll figure it out somehow. I do think we're going to rethink the family chip-in gift.

I think we all feel she is too young for something such as a Ipod Nano, not only for her age, but for the lack of respect she has for those things she does have.

I would like to thank those who took the time to read the ranting of a parent that is still growing into her own and for the words of encouragement, and assistance. (The photos are of me as a child. Showing my progression to a parent.)

You Are What You Eat or You Get What You Give

This morning Mad Dog is having the same discussion with Gigi that we have at least 2 during our summer visit. For breakfast today Mad Dog made pancakes. Gabrielle took one bite and said she was full. This has something that has been going on for several days now. Mad Dog questioned her on this, getting the normal response of tears. She claims she eats turkey, but won't eat Turkey sausage, ground turkey or any other turkey product that isn't deli turkey or actual sliced turkey off a 20 pound bird. She lives off chicken nuggets (frozen only, can't be fresh), turkey dogs and junk food. She questions ever brand we buy. She claims its not what is in WI. She argues that it's not what Momma makes.

Lex and we hope Loki eat what we eat (which is about the same amount as Gigi). If Lex doesn't he doesn't eat. Because of her behavior we are now having issues with him. He is gagging when he puts food in his mouth that he has eaten since the first taste. This is becoming a huge issue. This creates a complete tension within the family dynamic. This is not the only issue. It comes down to the fact that she only is apart of the family when it benifites her. Lex carried his own diaper box (stating along the way every moment that is was "Heavy") up to the second floor all by himself. Gigi walked in and carried her book, nothing else. Didn't help with the groceries and stuff from Target.

Each summer we try something new to make it work. It doesn't. She feels she is entitled to everything. I don't want Lex and Loki to ever think that. Because it's a gift we have what we have, what they have. Gigi doesn't get that.

I am frustrated. I walk the line between letting Mad Dog handle her and my head exploding. I feel terrible that by the end of the summer I'm a bit relieved what our lives go back to nomal. I'm beat. I know this post isn't anything except a rant. I'm sorry I dont' have anything to give.

Maine - The Way Life Should Be

For the past three days we have been in Alfred, Maine on Shaker Pond, where Stuart (my Mom's fiancé) has a little place. Mad Dog and I took the kids and camped out in the yard. We have to thank Kim our Cafe Manager in Enfield for giving us the most amazing tent ever! She offered it to me at the last minute and we don't know how we would have managed without it. It sleeps 7 people, but for us it slept us, Miss G and Little Man in his pack-n-play perfectly.

We had a great time. It was a full house up there- Sandy, Stuart, Nana and Indiana. Miss G & Mad Dog went swimming across Shaker Pond on kick boards . My Mom & Stuart went fishing.

Little Man had a ton of firsts:

• First time sleeping in a tent.
• First time swimming in something other than the tub.
  
• First time eating sweet potatoes.
• First time eating pears.
• First time eating ICE CREAM!

Though most of the time was keeping the kids amused Mad Dog and I did manage to have fun. I really can't wait until next year when Little Man will be running around up there - granted we will have to keep an eye on him (one wrong step in any direction ends you in Shaker Pond), but everything will be exciting and new.

Lions, Tigers & Bears OH MY!

This weekend was a Mansfield Weekend. This meant that once Mad Dog and I made it home from work(me on-time for once) we had to pack for the weekend. This is our first full trip with both Miss G and Little Man. Miss G in the past has pretty much taken everything, but the kitchen sink in the past when we have gone away, but with the addition of her little brother we were all limited to what could fit in the car. Having said that, I was very confused when I came home to find that Miss G had been given the go ahead to pack her SUITCASE, where the rest of us were going for the backpack route. I didn't say anything, thinking Mad Dog had given himself enough rope to hang himself with (knowing that with everything else it might not fit). I managed to get everyone out the door somehow - for some reason I'm the Timekeeper of the family. After getting on the road with a cranky Little Man we were on our way to Eastern Massachusetts.

This trip usually takes an hour and a half, for Little Man & Momma it's only one hour and 15 minutes, but for this trip it was 2 1/2 hours. Due to traffic and the fact that Mad Dog and Momma were trying for parents of the year and forgot bottles & nipples. This meant a stop at our favorite store, Target.

We managed to get there and make it through the night in the guest room...which is a WHOLE other POST. The next day we went to Southwick Zoo.

Southwick is a zoo we went to as children. I remember it being very far away (it was only 45 minutes) and huge...not so much. It was strange going there with Little Man, knowing I had been there in a stroller when I was little. Uncle Kevin & Uncle Brent joined us with Brent's nephew Andy. Fun was had by all, even Little Man. It was Zoobabies weekend at the zoo and they were introducing the new members of the Zoo family to the public. The kids got to feed baby goats and Miss G even found out that one of the Monkey's had the same name as her.
The rest of the weekend was a blur of diapers and playing ball. Chasing the dog and wedding talk.

Mad Dog and I even had our Baptism class so that we're okay in the eyes of God for Lex's big day.

We're home now, and Miss G is getting ready for bed while Mad Dog and I are ready to fall down.