Cake of Death: Parenting 101

Each year before the start of the summer Mad Dog and I sit down and strategize how to approach this summer visit. The sad part about this is we're not this way we parent with Lex. Lex is 2 1/2 years old and he knows that: we have one meal a night, you don't eat - you don't eat; you take something out - you put it away before something else comes out or it's gone; you take off clothing - you put it in the hamper; your room is clean before you go to bed. This is a 2 year old. We have drilled this into him and he has taken to it. We expect and hope Loki will be the same way. Those who know us, know that we are laid back parents. You spill milk, we don't yell - it's happens. You ruin your shirt with a stain, we don't yell - it's happens. We do however expect you listen, and learn from what we tell you, even if you take the hard way to get there.

Each summer, by the end I feel (I think Mad Dog does too) that we have been walked on. The hard part for me is that I'm a "step-mom" and because of this, I feel I walk a line. A line where I let Mad Dog handle things, and try to stay out of it the best I can. Needless to say, I have a hard time doing this - I mean it is my house, my life and oddly my family it is effecting. Mad Dog knows I'm frustrated and he tries to help me with it, but what it comes down to is that I'm frustrated with her behavior, her attitude and how it effects him, and the kids. Please don't think, I am saying she is completely without her good points. I love her a great deal. What I don't love is what she will grow up to become. We can see it and in a lot of ways we can't stop it no matter how much we attempt to help her down another path.

My last two posts have brought a lot of great comments, ideas and parenting knowledge. I agree with a great deal that has been said.

I know that a lot of this is out of our hands and is due to the other 9 months of the year that she is not with us. I think I'm of the belief that the "Shock and Awe" parenting method seems to work best.The harder, swifter and more shocking the action, the memorable and lasting reaction. I know that those punishments and reactions to my behavior from my childhood were the ones that still stick in my memory even today. Like every child I thought they were unfair, but now I see the justification as a parent. I honestly also think, that

we are the parents, as it has been stated it is not a democracy. My kids start writing "We the People of this Family" and I'll give them credit for trying, but there will be no "Cake" in my "Cake or Death"; no toy soldier last stand; no "Give me Fruit Treats or give me death".

We'll figure it out somehow. I do think we're going to rethink the family chip-in gift.

I think we all feel she is too young for something such as a Ipod Nano, not only for her age, but for the lack of respect she has for those things she does have.

I would like to thank those who took the time to read the ranting of a parent that is still growing into her own and for the words of encouragement, and assistance. (The photos are of me as a child. Showing my progression to a parent.)

You Are What You Eat or You Get What You Give

This morning Mad Dog is having the same discussion with Gigi that we have at least 2 during our summer visit. For breakfast today Mad Dog made pancakes. Gabrielle took one bite and said she was full. This has something that has been going on for several days now. Mad Dog questioned her on this, getting the normal response of tears. She claims she eats turkey, but won't eat Turkey sausage, ground turkey or any other turkey product that isn't deli turkey or actual sliced turkey off a 20 pound bird. She lives off chicken nuggets (frozen only, can't be fresh), turkey dogs and junk food. She questions ever brand we buy. She claims its not what is in WI. She argues that it's not what Momma makes.

Lex and we hope Loki eat what we eat (which is about the same amount as Gigi). If Lex doesn't he doesn't eat. Because of her behavior we are now having issues with him. He is gagging when he puts food in his mouth that he has eaten since the first taste. This is becoming a huge issue. This creates a complete tension within the family dynamic. This is not the only issue. It comes down to the fact that she only is apart of the family when it benifites her. Lex carried his own diaper box (stating along the way every moment that is was "Heavy") up to the second floor all by himself. Gigi walked in and carried her book, nothing else. Didn't help with the groceries and stuff from Target.

Each summer we try something new to make it work. It doesn't. She feels she is entitled to everything. I don't want Lex and Loki to ever think that. Because it's a gift we have what we have, what they have. Gigi doesn't get that.

I am frustrated. I walk the line between letting Mad Dog handle her and my head exploding. I feel terrible that by the end of the summer I'm a bit relieved what our lives go back to nomal. I'm beat. I know this post isn't anything except a rant. I'm sorry I dont' have anything to give.