One of the Woman Who Made Me

Family means a great deal to me as most of my friends know. Over the years we have had our ups and downs. There have been happy moment and tragedies. Though my brothers and I have had our differences, we always come together when we need each other. All of us know if we place a call, for help someone will be there for us. This of course includes my Mother and Grandmother, and now this has extended to our spouses.

Recently we have found out that my Grandmother, who turned 91 in January, has breast cancer. This is something that surprised all of us. As far as we are aware there was no breast cancer or cancer for that matter on our maternal grandmother's side. How do you even begin to deal with a 91 year old woman with breast cancer who has the early stages of dementia? This is serious, right? Of course it is, it's the "C-word" and that is serious stuff. People die from this.

As a family we know this. My Grandfather has stomach cancer and of course there was my Father. We had a long road with both. My brothers and I were younger when my Grandfather was sick, but we were all old enough to deal with and understand my Father's suffering. We took care of my Father, we helped him, we care for him and we were there in the end with him. I think that weighed on our minds when we heard the news about my Grandmother.

The tumor is the size of a tennis ball, and Friday she will have surgery to remove it and her breast. The Surgeon, Dr. Reid, believes that if she has the surgery she will die of what "old people" die of ... old age. Not something like this. There is no reason to think otherwise, she is a strong health woman for 91. Without the surgery, the cancer could break though and because it would be an open wound, an open cancer it would bleed. This could cause infection, and make it impossible to care for her as a family. Personally I know that if she ever were to go into a home or rehab center for something, she would loss hope. I think the fact that she has that personal contact with her family every day, she gets to see the kids and play with them gives there the drive and makes her stronger.

I had time this week to visit with her and my Mom. Loki and Lex get the biggest kick out of her. She insists that they sit on her lap and that she hold them. They of course amuse her, running to her and sitting on her lap and then getting down as quickly they got up. She feeds them cookies and treats. Lex begs for days on end to come see her before a visit. Loki loves to play Patty-Cake with her. They adore her.

She took care of her mother, and now she is taken care by of by her daughter. She is the woman how taught me how to cook; how not to speak Italian; tried to teach me to crochet; and she taught me to play hearts. She took care of each one of us. This Friday we will be praying for her safety and for the chance to take care of her for a long time to come. On Friday, if you have a moment think of her for us and for Lex and Loki.

Family Reunion - aka Nana's Happy Day

When I was young, every holiday was spent with family (both immediate and extended). Christmas would start in Mansfield, and then move to my Uncle's in North Attleboro. All the kids were there and we played in the basement with whatever toy we brought along or received that day. This was my Mom's side of the family, which is not very big compared to my Dad's family - but it was family and we had a good time. In the 80's my Grandfather passed away and my Uncle moved down to South Carolina with part of his family. Since then we have all grown-up and see each other less and less.

This past year brought my Grandmother's 90th birthday. She is getting old and her memory is fading you can see it everyday, for those of us who see her often it's hard to watch, but we're grateful the have the time to be there with her. Being semi-dramatic (as I think most Elderly people are) she is aways asking if we think she'll see her family before she dies. Because of this we thought it would be nice to try to bring as many people together for her as possible.

Yesterday we had a Family Reunion.

This reunion brought together all her Great Grandchildren, spanning in age from 22 to 8 months. Nana was introduced to Jackson Donato, my cousin Patrick's son and got to see her oldest Great Grandchild, Brian, who she hasn't seen since the end of his Basic Training for the Military. The reunion also, brought my cousin Amy, her fiance Sam and Megan her daughter all the way from South Carolina. My Brother Sean and his wife Tiffany joined us from Ft. Lauderdale, FL, making this the first time they met Loki, my daughter since her birth last December.

For some of the kids, it was their first introduction to their extended family for others it was a chance to see how people have grown and changed. Though everyone couldn't be there, Nana was blessed to see Christopher, my cousin who lives in San Diego just a few weeks prior to the reunion, and received a phone call from my cousin Ed a few days before checking in on her and wishing her well. My Mom called me this afternoon, telling me that Nana has mentioned several times how wonderful it was to have so much of her family with her yesterday. My Mom has already started to pull together a scrapbook for her, something we can look at with her often and help her not to forget how much love she has around her.

Highlights of the day were kick ball the Family vs. The Out-Laws. The Family winning 10 to 8, even with Sean great couching skills; Morgan painting faces for the kids; Toni and Brian hanging in the sandbox with the kids; the beautiful family photograph Patrick & Sara gave Nana from their wedding; Lego Mini-Figure building with Mike and the power point presentation that brought back so many memories.